Struggle………an effort to shape destiny.

It has often crossed my mind that the word ‘Struggle’ has been somehow associated with a very heavy negative tone …something that works against us…something which might break us down…something we need to be scared of….
…. It has often struck me though that ‘struggle’ is seldom a problem on its own…rather, it is more the effort we exert from our side to face an unforeseen situation…..a strength within which instead of breaking us down….actually saves us from it……

I was, (as all of us are )…exposed to the experience of struggle at a very early stage of my life…

When I see a little baby crying helplessly on the cot…it reminds me of the struggle I had gone through for not being able to express myself when I was a child myself…or for not knowing the language the world around me understood… not being able to make people understand my needs…how helpless I used to feel …when everybody, except me could convey their needs so effortlessly…
I STRUGGLED TO LEARN TO TALK ….
..strangely , today, when I’ve perfectly mastered the art of talking and can express all my needs in the most articulate flash of words….
why do i still find it so difficult to express my dearest thoughts to the ones i love the most in this world..?

It was a shame to take a trip of my own house…sometimes on a cot.. sometimes on somebody’s shoulder…or sometimes just being dragged along the floor.. in an earnest effort to save time….how humiliating it was..!
I could Often sense the hidden smile on other people face…amused by the fact how I could not walk….and they could….
I STRUGGLED… TO LEARN TO WALK on my own……
….today, when I walk all over the earth effortlessly…with almost painstaking poise and dignity…head held high..never have to be bothered again by anybody’s sarcastic smile…
…why do I feel befind the showcased confidence... that I’m still so far away from learning to walk on my own..?

I used to be jealous of the people around me…who knew so much…about so many things..and I did not.
I STRUGGLED TO LEARN TO BE ONE OF THEM….

Fourteen years of my life I had spent ‘struggling’ to gather knowledge
From the most esteemed institution recommended by wise men ….knowledge that told me everything that needed to be known…art, literature, science….
Today when I’ve learnt well all that they had to teach me…

…why do I feel that in spite of knowing everything that I needed to know…I’ve learned nothing about my own self…or of the dear ones who surround me all the time..
...why does a strange feeling persists , that with all the worldly knowledge...I still remain completely oblivious, failing miserably to perceive all the small everyday miracles which go on happenning around and inside me...without ever asking for my appreciation ?


They told me all the time that I needed to be somebody….somebody special….somebody they can be proud of…they showed me people who have reached the heights of life….Doctors. engineers, enterpreauners….
I wanted to be like them…
I STRUGGLED HARD TO BE LIKE THEM….

Today…when I’ve achieved what I wanted to achieve…when I can with vehement conviction proudly consider myself as one of ‘them’…

Why do I feel that in spite of all that I’ve achieved…being the ‘somebody’ people so desparately wanted me to be….I’ve completely failed somewhere deep within….

I HAVE FAILED TO BE MYSELF……

Today..The profound wisdom of these two lines reverberates somewhere…may be in some well hidden corner of my heart…
"nothing fails like success…” and….

"the greatest struggle in life is.... to be yourself” .